Dear Future Child

Hey Steve, or Stevette. You're mother wanted to name you Julius, so you're welcome. This is your introduction to the world of today. My biggest piece of advice is, go back now, dive back into the womb, it's your only hope! Nah, I'm just fooling around with you Steve, the world's actually pretty cool. We play a game called baseball out here, you will come to love it just as i do. Actually, you better love it because i'm banking on you making me a lot of money playing baseball professionally. And if you get cut from the team, don't bother coming home. Don't cry Steve, that's just another joke. Actually thats like half a joke, you better be good at baseball. You're mother is yelling at me to clean the gutters; that brings me to the next life lesson you need to know. Don't marry young, have fun while it lasts. Unless you want to get married young, thats ok i guess, just don't say i didn't tell you. Well Steve, thats all for now. Hopefully you grow up to be a good guy and we'll share a few good memories at my 80th birthday party, which better be held at your mansion you earned from playing baseball professionally.